The Extendables

Seldom have I encountered a movie that left me speechless, flabbergasted, dumbfounded or even sad. Yes, I'm talking about Brian Thompson's directorial debut called “The Extendables”. There is not much to say about this, so let's get into this thing.

Yes, they use the actual light saber sound effects...

Vardell Duseldorfer (Brian Thompson) is a has been. He was once Hollywood's biggest action star but after a couple of bad movies and decisions, he's pretty much a joke. To save what's left of his waning star he decides to direct a Sci-Fi action flick. Will he succeed to “extend” his dying career or is this the final nail in his coffin?

When Kevin Sorbo gives the best performance, you know you´re in trouble!

I like Brian Thompson, I really do. You might not know the name but you've definitely seen him. I loved it when he got his heart ripped out in "The Terminator", or how he went bowling with his friends in “Fright Night 2”, I absolutely adored him as the big bad in “The Order”. Next to Al Leong, Thompson is the quintessential goon/henchman/bad guy. 

Pretty much the only action scene in the entire movie...sort of.

The character of Vardell Duseldorfer is supposed to be a combination of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude van Damme and Steven Seagal. One can assume, Thompson has seen all kinds of things happen on set with these men. This is pretty much his recollection of those experiences (mostly the worst). He wrote a story around it and tried to make a satire about film making, fame and its big stars attached to it. Yes, this isn't a spoof on The Expendables, in fact this isn't even an action film!

Really, you shouldn´t have...

One can can only wonder why this movie has been made. Was Thompson angry for not being asked to be in any of the Expendables movies? He does go out of his way to portray Duseldorfer as an incompetent fool. I don't know what he was trying to say with this. What I do know is that this is one of the worst things I've ever seen. The acting, screenplay, cinematography and visual effects are abysmal. The cameos are useless and this is ultimately a major wast of your time and money! This is barely a movie. Just avoid this.